Kelly writes about her experience of using TFT

“Hey all, as someone who has used TFT in the past I wanted to share my experiences with you. Monika taught me how to do TFT on my driving lessons and it really helped me to combat initial nerves when driving. Originally I thought I had a fear of driving but Monika helped me realise it was more a lack of knowledge than anything else! However I did have nerves at the start of my lessons and TFT helped me overcome that. I also did TFT before my driving test and passed 1st time with 3 minors. I felt so nervous before I went for my warm up session before the test but after doing TFT I was filled with positivity!
I also did TFT before a big presentation as I was nervous about speaking in front of so many people. It went so well that one of the directors of the company I was presenting to said it was one of the most effective presentations they have seen and that I looked very confident and relaxed.
I would recommend TFT to anyone!”

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Driving test nerves-fears and exams anxiety

On a Pass Plus recently, I was reminded of the case this 26 year old went through. At her Uni she was predicted to get the highest grades at the finals, but because of her anxiety she scraped through. She wished she had known TFT then.
I never knew about her exam fear till the day before her driving test, she passed first time with me. Good driving preparation and TFT for nerves worked well. No one should be afraid of any tests when they are well prepared, everyone should know how to remove those fears.
She actually told me that counselling does not work for her. She had counselling after her father passed away. She could talk to her friends, but she needed some practical solutions and a way forward, yet that was not being offered by counselling. This is what I had found when studying the 1st year of counselling myself. My tutor had gaps in knowledge on human growth, and own self confidence issues. Most of the people on my course had unresolved personal issues too, I was helping some to understand them and move on. If they then pass the exams and qualified to be counsellors, what help can they offer others without resolving their stuff first? Do you have an experience of being at the receiving end of a “shrink”?

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Tailgating, not keeping proper distance away from other traffic and this is the result? golfcrashed1 text
I wonder what has actually happened here. Was the lorry tailgating? People don’t follow the two second rule, sit in each-other rear ends not having enough time to stop safely. The first thing the powers that be should do on approach there is to print two chevrons markings and tell people to keep two chevrons apart!
I use and teach two seconds for normal cars and 3 seconds from lorries, doubled in the wet! If just this is learned and practiced none of that would have happened! #2secondsgap

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Licence 2 Kill

Licence 2 Kill

Can you change the way you feel about taking that bend fast? Driving in the rain so you cannot stop safely, or racing your friends, not knowing what’s around the next corner?

Is it going to be very impressive when you have crashed and killed your best mates, and put two in a wheelchair?

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Loch Carron

Loch Carron

Why do some of the abused become the abusers themselves?

I have had time to ponder, and found this blog; It makes me wonder why some abused people become the abusers themselves, but others, like me, become the helpers? Surely most people would have enough intelligence to understand that what happened to them was wrong, and not allow for that conditioning to be stronger than their conscious thoughts… They would realise that it’s wrong to continue in the same abusive way.  Maybe it makes them feel good to put someone down, to feel in control.

Could this be the “Pavlovs dog” conditioning, so buried in the subconscious, that it’s not recognised?

I have always been the believer in “People who feel good about themselves want to make others feel good and don’t need to knock the joy out of someone.” I hope more will learn the art of emotional intelligence.

Read more:

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“How much are your driving lessons?”

“I am looking for cheap driving lessons, just to pass my test!”

That question, and comments come up in many enquiries people make before starting to learn to drive a car.

But the The old saying is “pay cheap, pay twice”. If you are lucky that is. What cheap lessons mean in reality? The question should be asked, if the Driving Instructor is good at what they do, why are they not charging accordingly to how good they are?  If football players /managers were of poor quality would they be getting results and getting the sums they receive.

The difference here is that football is an entertainment, learning to drive is a life skill. Learn to do it well, it will pay you back and save you money in the long run. Do it badly, not only will it cost lots of money in insurance claims, it may cost you your life.
Would you like to go to a doctor without skills, or fly on your family holiday with a poorly trained pilot?
Do you expect to be on the road driving in heavy traffic without any ability and take your children with you too?

Most of the time the reasons for poor driver education are simply not having enough good quality driving lessons, and just scraping through the test. The new driver ends up lacking in perception, with poor risk assessment that leads to crashes, financial losses (minor problem! car is replaceable, PEOPLE ARE NOT!), but most often, major life changing injuries or loss of life.
Many parents don’t invest in their children but the metal box that potentially becomes their coffin…Instead of making sure that their precious offspring acquires top quality driver education to make sure they become the top quality drivers.

Imagine, a 17 year old male, whose sister learned with me, but he wanted a male instructor…after 2 years of learning and 2 failed tests, he knew nothing of the road procedure, looked ahead as far as the back side of the car in front, sitting in it-tailgating, with the attitude that everyone is wrong apart from him. Thank God he did not pass a test then. Maybe God was looking after him.

Sometimes it’s not how much time you give someone, but the level and quality of the education given. Most people don’t want to die, but can you expect kids to have an imagination, when parents are looking for cheapest instructors with no credentials, so they can save few pounds, thinking that the DRIVING TEACHERS are all the same? Then they write off a car or two, kill someone or themselves. Perspectives, and perceptions change after…too late for many. It’s funny, I have people coming from Battersea, end of East London. Some take hours on public transport to get here. They are all highly intelligent and two are doing a PHD. So perhaps, those that don’t bother educating themselves are a part of natural selection? Scary thought…
Do you think Cheap Driving Lessons are worth your money, time, life..?
So how much are your lives worth then?

This is the reality;

Good points are mentioned;

Be The BEST YOU Can Be – Learn the best way!

caolas cumhann

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How many generations are going to suffer?

If you think that driving anxieties are only driving related, think again.

Rebbeca recently became very anxious whilst turning the car around, in a very basic car skill turn in the road. More commonly known as a 3 point turn.  Even though she did not have much of a problem with the manoeuvre  before, this time there were 2 cars waiting, without the space to go further.  She became very anxious to the point of not being able to move, letting go of the clutch and constantly stalling the car.

Not wanting making the matters worse, I helped her move off.  I’ve recognised the signs of extreme anxiety, so asked if she has ever been bullied.

Yes, was the sobbing answer.  In her years at school, she was being laughed at as she did not have fashionable cloths and kids were picking on her. She wanted to hide.

Within the first 2 minutes, and only step one of TFT, her past trauma diminished to nothing. But something else has resurfaced.  Her father was a bully too, his remarks were on the par of those kids but for other reasons.

Why did she not have nice cloths and her father was a bully too? Perhaps he was emotionally anesthetized and did not know what effect  his negative comments will have on a young child? He was kidnapped by two thugs who stole his taxi and locked him in a boot of his car. He run away, as the boot was not locked properly. That kind of trauma has left lots of mental scars that have not been dealt with.

But the real issue was her mum who was ill…mentally ill.  Her parents had 2 kids 15 years before Rebecca was born. When her older sister was 7, she was killed by a passing motorbike. Her mother never overcame that trauma, becoming depressed, then later on developing schizophrenia. She was not able to look after and take proper care of her last daughter. So some 40 years later the effects of that accident are still present in the second generation, simply because there was no proper care and solution to overcome the grief and a trauma of losing  a child.

I am glad to say, Rebecca’s face was glowing with happiness on her next session. She never realised how much those years have affected her. The TFT therapy that we have used, removed the negative emotions from the past, and her glowing expression was a visible sign that things are on the mend. Her new in car confidence  is very apparent, and I am looking forward to the next few weeks and the profound positive emotional change that it will bring.



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Anxious accident driving survey

So here it is, according to the poll by Allianz Insurance, 79% of people going on the road are anxious about it. 17% of people were so worried that they have not made a particular journey.

So why are people so worried about other drivers tailgating or being uninsured, yet don’t think that the actual problem is with their emotional state, and lack of understanding of road procedures?

People rather live in those negative states, but don’t realise there’s help available in form of improving their driving and helping them learn a technique that will alleviate those prevailing anxieties.

Negative emotional states affect our wellbeing over all, but if we don’t get rid of the driving anxieties  behind the wheel, they become the causes of accidents, just as much as driving tired or drunk.

I was hoping that seeking help would be something natural as going to a doctor when we don’t feel well physically.

This survey proves otherwise, what a shame.

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Philosophy for a happy life…

The life we are given is only wasted, if we live in fear and don’t follow our dreams because we think we’ll fail.  We all know our time is limited, yet we don’t do the things we really want, finding (designing) lots of obstacles that will prevent us from achieving our dreams, however small they may be.

  • Follow your passions, for we don’t really know how long we have on Planet Earth this time around.
  • Be around people who appreciate you for WHO YOU ARE!
  • Plan new and exiting things, moving forward not looking back at the things that did not go so well. Tomorrow is another new day.

The quote from Napoleon Hill; “If you can’t do great things, do small things in a great way.”   summarises how all of us can make this world a better place.

An inspiration;

My philosophy for a happy life: Sam Berns at TEDxMidAtlantic 2013

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Blog 1

Now that is a reversing skill to be proud of…NOT! And drives off!

Caught on camera: Mystery driver’s terrible reverse as they smash into TWO vehicles in car park

The dozy driver in Olton, West Mids, tentatively edges out of a parking space, before unexpectedly stamping on the accelerator and smashing to two parked vehicles–mystery-driver-s-terrible-reverse-as-they-smash-into-two-vehicles-in-car-park-105238142.html#34a6JXN

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